so that wasnt chicken after all
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
