Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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