Barsexuality is the new black.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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