I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
