i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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