508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
