I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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