Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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