I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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