i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
