I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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