Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
