i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
