oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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