Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
