so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
