We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I deserve this hangover.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
