Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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