I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
