You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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