so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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