Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
