Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
COCAINE IS GR8
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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