Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
