it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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