Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
