I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
