she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What drink are we having for lunch?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
