Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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