It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
