Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
