She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
