Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
