He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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