Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
