did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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