You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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