I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
