Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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