are you so shy because you have an std?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
