That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
