she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
