Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize