i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
