just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
