Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
