Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
