I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
