i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
