Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
