And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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