and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
