I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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